Have the “Holiday Conversation”

First — you’ve voted already, right? Because that’s the top priority. But judging from all the Live Oakers I’ve talked to, you’ve either voted, or made a specific plan to vote. Yay, you!

So now, even though it’s only October – I encourage you to start having the conversations about what the holidays are going to look like. Cases of Covid-19 are rising all around the country. Dr. Fauci himself is talking about it, and how his adult children will not be coming home for Thanksgiving.

Here’s what we know right now: being together inside, with air being recirculated, is one of the biggest ways to give or get covid. Small household gatherings are being warned against by the CDC as an increasing way of spreading the virus.

I’ll admit, I’ve been putting off these conversations. Hoping that we’d know more, or things would be safer in some way. And as the parent of adult children, the whole dilemma has been an ache in my heart. I’m a big believer in Robert Frost’s statement that “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.”

But the time has come, and we are having the conversations we need to have, across multiple generations. Waiting will not make it any easier. Even when the decision is painful, there is something about having the decision made. You can make alternate plans, you can set your expectations for how it’s going to be.

So everyone involved is being clear – about the precautions they’re taking, their tolerance for risk. We are — genuinely! — all working to be self-differentiated, making decisions for ourself, and honoring the decisions others are making.

Make the phone call, or set a time to meet on Zoom. Have that hard conversation.