Walking Together

Sermons: Walking Together

Rev. Kathleen Ellis

Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Church

13 June 2004

Two friends were walking and talking, talking and walking. That’s what Chuck Freeman and I were doing just last week as we walked the labyrinth and did some thinking out loud about our work here in a newly emerging ministry. The way to forge a friendship is to talk and especially to listen for hours at a time. When Chuck and I walk and talk, you can be sure that all of you are with us. What wonderful companions you have already become! The magic of Live Oak is in your heads and in your hearts. The magic is in your hands and in the creative synergy that erupts whenever it gets the chance.

I am grateful to benefit from the magic that you have harnessed since 1991 to establish such a fine congregation. We have a shared ministry, not just between Chuck and me, but with all of you along with us. About ten years ago I attended a ministerial leadership seminar. One of the faculty members was Helen Bishop, who is an inspirational leader in her own right. She said something that stuck with me: “Ministry lies in the heart of the congregation, not just in the heart of an individual.”

Each person who walks through our doors has something to contribute. That’s not why you came the first time. You came because you were hoping to receive something of value for you or your family. Curiosity, boredom, a life crisis, a hunger for spirituality, or religious education may have drawn you here. You may have come just to humor a friend.

Whatever your reason may have been, we as a faith community at Live Oak, welcome you. By virtue of being alive you have had experiences we might never have dreamed could happen. Consider this an invitation to notice the next unfamiliar person you see and to offer a smile and a hand of greeting.

Thus does ministry begin. In order to begin defining our anticipated roles, Chuck and I have chosen titles for ourselves. We won’t need titles here—we’ll just be Chuck and Kathleen. But to the outside world, I have become the Minister of Congregational Life, taking the lead in religious education and the larger picture of organizational life. Chuck has become the Minister of Spiritual Life, taking the lead in worship and pastoral care. Our roles will overlap, to be sure, but we will try not to step on each other’s toes as we make our way toward Live Oak’s vision. And what is that vision, you may ask?

It says, “Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Church is a diverse, consensus-based spiritual community in northwest Austin. Together we create a non-judgmental, nurturing environment where people of all ages can develop spiritually and personally as we demonstrate our shared values, perspectives and concerns with the larger community.”

Our mission statement includes religious education, worship, action in the larger community, governance by consensus, and all the mushy stuff—support, personal growth, respect, love, compassion, belonging, and sharing. Then comes the most important part: to have fun together. This is more than coming to church on Sundays; it’s our way of life.

None of us as individuals, and not even an inner circle of dedicated volunteers can carry out this mission alone. We’ve just got to have that magic life-saving stick.

But the magic is in our heads and in our hearts as we go walking and talking toward a common goal. This has made a big difference in my own life, as the following three vignettes aim to show.

Walking together made a difference the summer my nose got broken. I was a teenager volunteering at Summer Street School’s summer program for children and youth with mental retardation. My cousin David, who has Down’s Syndrome, attended that school. He was also a member of a gymnastics team that won competitions all over the state of Louisiana. The summer program was for kids with a range of abilities to learn cooperative and competitive skills.

We played T-ball, and sometimes ran with the batter to help him reach first base. We took the kids swimming once a week to teach them to swim or float or dog paddle to the safety of the side. We helped them across an overhead ladder and one of the boys slipped off and his elbow caught my nose and snapped the cartilage. I remember how much it hurt, but at least I didn’t have to wear a cast!

That summer probably meant more to me than to any of the girls and boys. Oh, sure, they had a good time, and something to do while their parents were at work, but I had a chance to walk with them and cheer them on. We didn’t have deep intellectual conversations. With a little bit of encouragement from Linda, the director, I could make a difference by playing well with others. And it was more than that. No one was more important than the youngest or least able student, but I was making a contribution based on who I was. For a shy and awkward teenage girl that was a magical summer.

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Some twenty years ago I was a member of Northwoods Unitarian Universalist Church in The Woodlands, Texas. The minister started a lay ministry team that would provide pastoral care to members and thus extend the ministry of the church. After all, he couldn’t be everywhere at once. J Toward the end of our training we engaged in roleplay, when we would think up a tale of woe to share with a listening friend. When it was my turn to listen, my partner began telling the story of her friend who was depressed over a number of life events. She wanted to know how to help her friend.

For my part I was mostly listening when the realization suddenly came flooding into me that she was really talking about her own life. At that moment the interchange became real rather than roleplay. Having been entrusted with a pastoral situation, I was grateful for the lessons we had learned about active listening, the importance of not giving advice until it was asked for, and above all, the value of attentive presence to others around us. Her talking and my listening generated a kind of magic that continues to amaze me.

Some time after that, I worked for two and a half years at a shelter for battered women in Montgomery County, Texas. The work was gratifying in many ways as we gave women an opportunity to turn their lives in new directions. We were proud of our success rate in helping women get out of abusive relationships. Many women and men in these situations have very low self-esteem. It typically takes five or six tries for abused partners to make a final break from a bad relationship. It’s really hard to do, but perhaps that’s another sermon.

I left that job when I decided to go to seminary. Years later, I met one of the former shelter residents in the grocery store. It was so exciting to catch up on each other’s lives. She was doing great and was grateful that the shelter was available when she needed it. Then she told me that something I had said, that I don’t even remember, had made a difference in her life. Something I said? Just to hear her share that was a moment of pure magic.

Edward Frost, a Unitarian Universalist minister in Atlanta, wrote:

<< Somewhere in us is a story in which we are the hero, fearless before gods and giants, girded up as the scriptures say “in the whole armor of God,” knowing for a certainty that right makes might. Each of you has a story, waiting to be remembered, about the power you had and have still to make a difference. Begin to tell your story to someone --even though you may not know yet that you know it. Just begin by saying, “The first time I realized I could make a difference was...” The story will rush forward to be told. >>

Think back over your own life. When was the first time you realized you could make a difference? . . .

What has made a difference for you here? . . .

Live Oak has two ministers now, after a lot of talking and fund raising and consensus building. We don’t know yet what kind of magic will happen here. We’ll stub our toes now and then. We’ll come upon piles of obstacles in the path. We might land in deep water. And we’ll probably encounter wolves intent on devouring us.

But we’ll look around and find the right tool, maybe a magic life-saving stick, and maybe a friend. The magic happens in your head and in your heart. You may not yet know the difference you have already made.

Amen