Music

Music, A Life Long Spiritual Journey
Eddie Collins, UU Musician and Songwriter
June 18, 2000
Unitarian Universalist Church of the Brazos Valley

Before starting, I would like to ask all of you to think back – back to a time when you were first able to ride a bike without someone steadying you from alongside. Think back to a time when you first went from 1st to 4th gear without the car jerking to a halt from popping the clutch too quickly. The first time you hit a ball for distance with a bat; the first time your kite stayed up in the air. The feeling one gets whenever they experience one of life’s "firsts" in one of extreme pride in oneself – the exhilarating feeling of "Hey, I think I’ve got it!" The experience of learning music is filled with many such firsts – Your first sounds from your instrument; Playing your first song; Performing before others for the first time; and so on. And while such firsts can be thought of as "spiritual highs," like any spiritual journey, the pathway of learning music is a winding road that traverses numerous peaks and valleys.

I have chosen to divide the focus of my talk today into two general topics – using my career in music to illustrate and support my views.

The areas I would like to discuss are:

1. Developing a child’s musical talents.
2. Developing your (meaning an adult’s) musical talents

As the father of a wonderful young daughter, I, like many of you, have a great concern that decisions I make on her behalf be made with her best interest in mind. Too often, when it comes to the arts, and especially music, parents make a decision for the child as to what music they can listen to, what instrument they may choose to play, or whether they will listen to or play music at all. One of the best ways to develop a child’s interest in music is to simply make music available. This includes exposing a child to many different kinds of music. To do this, you may have to occasionally put your personal interests aside.

Think of all the times you have driven in the car with the radio on. Do you listen to a variety of programs and styles of music? All children, including infants, develop a subliminal appreciation for music through the background music to which they are exposed. Even if you favor a particular style of music, you would do well to "surf the dial" from time to time. In one such surfing, my daughter had me stop the dial on a Tejano station. She liked the beat even though she didn’t understand the words. This actually allowed the conversation to incorporate a discussion of appreciating different cultures and how the music we were hearing was much like the music that her aunt (who is from Mexico) grew up on. In a musical sense, I was able to point out that conjunto music is not that far removed from the bluegrass music that my daughter was used to hearing me play (both styles of music are played in a steady 2/4 beat with a strong rhythm section that includes bass and guitar).

As a parent, it is commonplace to think that children’s music and children’s TV is for children and go off into another room when the child is watching his or her favorite show. This is an opportunity missed to display an appreciation for something your child enjoys. As an example, my daughter’s favorite show is Arthur – a PBS show that infuses life lessons in an appropriate manner for children. The primary instrument heard in the background of this show is a banjo. My daughter recognized this and shared her excitement that Arthur had a connection to Daddy. (Of course I now have to live up to the lofty expectations of having an answer for all of life’s little problems the same way Arthur does).

Are Bugs Bunny cartoons really for children? There’s an awful lot of violence displayed when Yosemite Sam tries to get "that there varmut!" But wait, isn’t that Bugs Bunny conducting Rosini’s "Barber of Seville?" Isn’t Foghorn Leghorn singing "Camptown Races" – the classic American folksong written by Stephen Foster? As a music instructor, I can draw upon these exposures to music through cartoons and children’s television and incorporate the sounds already in a child’s ear into meaningful lessons.

Another way to pique a child’s interest in music is by having musical instruments around the house (whether you play them or not). Before the days of TV and radio, a family’s entertainment might be for everyone to "break out an instrument" and play music. Check under grandpa’s bed or in the attic – you’ll be surprised what’s there.

Another theme that goes hand in hand with anything a child attempts to accomplish is one of respect. Respect that a child may instinctively know what he or should would like to accomplish in regards to music. So just how does "respecting your child" tie into the ongoing discussion?

Children are fascinated by gadgets. A child may think of a guitar as a "gadget that plays music." Their natural curiosity will have them trying to make sounds on an instrument in no time. When I was young, most stage and screen cowboys also played guitar and sang. For example, Gene Autry and Roy Rogers. When I was 5, I told my parents that I wanted to play guitar. There were no musical instruments in the house. There was a record player, however, and many of our children’s records had guitar on them. Still 5 years old, I remember making up my own tunes and lyrics and thought how great it would be to have a guitar to play my songs. My mother was raised as a "Southern Lady" and guitar must not have been thought of as a "respectable" instrument. When I kept persisting for a guitar, she finally said, "We’ve decided to get an organ. If you take lessons and practice for two years, then we’ll get you a guitar."

Two years seemed like an eternity since it amounted to half of my lifetime and though I tried, I couldn’t learn to read music and my teacher didn’t know how to teach someone who could play by ear. I actually picked out the tune "Ghost Riders in the Sky" one of the very first times I sat down at the organ. My parents tried in one sense – they made an instrument available and even bought the sheet music for "Ghost Riders." But this experience started a process of developing a belief that I would never learn to play music, since I never learned to read the music. I still wanted a guitar, but when I entered fourth grade, they said if I played clarinet in the school band for two years, they would get me a guitar. Again, I had the same experience – I only learned songs by sitting next to someone who could read the music and then I’d try to figure it out by ear. One year was enough of that. Finally, at age 12, I had a paper route and saved up $12 to buy a Sears and Roebuck guitar. I learned my first song the first day. The parents again took me to lessons where someone tried to teach me to read music. I gave that up after a couple of months, but luckily I had some friends that were doing the same thing I was – picking tunes out by ear on guitar. We’d get together and show each other the leads we had learned from slowing down records and figuring out where to put our fingers. I played my first professional gig within 6 months and didn’t realize it at the time, but I was simultaneously developing the ability to teach others to learn by ear.

Through all of this I am not say that learning by hear is better than learning to play by reading music – playing by ear was just the approach that worked for me. Unfortunately, my approach to music was an issue that was never resolved in my parents’ lifetime. Although I remember many "Hey, I think I’ve got it!" moments, my mother told me she didn’t think supporting my decision to make a career in music was a good idea, because all of the teachers I had ever had told her that I "just wasn’t getting it." In her final years, she did try to listen to my music, although she never understood where I developed the interest in country music and sad songs. In her eyes, I became legit when I played for the President. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal and never mentioned it – she found out through a friend. You see, her being a Republican, she thought it to be the highlight of my career to have played for Ronald Regan. Whereas me being a democrat, I viewed it as somewhat of a downturn since I had previously played a political rally for California senator Tom Hayden – this at a time when he was still married to Jane Fonda. A further sign of my mother’s acceptance came during her last days of battling breast cancer – she came to watch me perform at a country honky tonk. And though the music was loud, I think she genuinely enjoyed herself.

My dad, although I sent him every recording I ever played on, never listened to a single one and only once heard me perform – when I performed at tune at my own wedding reception 10 years ago.

I have long since resolved the issue of my parents’ lack of support for my career, but this is what I mean by respecting your children. Far more than you know, children are often in touch with who they really are and who they were meant to be. For their sake, we need to listen.

As a parent, it is often hard to know just when it is appropriate to step in and encourage your child to continue with something even though they seemingly have lost interest. We all possess high hopes of seeing our children becoming as successful as they possibly can. But at what point do we cross the line of encouraging children for their own good verses our desire to see them become something that perhaps they were never destined to be?

A few years back, I had the experience of a family friend coming over unannounced with her twelve-year old son. When I answered the door, she said "Will you tell Jonathan that he can’t quit piano lessons." She was implying that if he quit on piano, he would quit on other things that he chose to do. I may have stained our friendship by my reply. I said, "Well, I always tell my students that there will be times when they will feel like they need a break from the routine of lessons. As a child, I’d get busy withwhatever sport was in season, but when that died down, I picked up where I left off with the guitar. If learning music is an enjoyable experience, the student will always come back to it. If someone is ‘made to do it,’ there’s always a chance he or she will give it up at the first opportune moment."

The mother tried to persuade me to change my opinion, but I didn’t. About two years later she called and said, "You won’t believe this, but Jonathan on his own has learned to play guitar and I think he’s quite good. Would you be able to give him some lessons?" I did and he tried out for and made the jazz band at the charter high he attended the very next year.

One last example of the effect a parent has on a child’s learning: I once had a young student who stared at the floor his entire first lesson. With the child in the room, the rather brash mother proceeded to explain to me how their son had never succeeded at anything. He performed poorly in school and was very uncoordinated when it came to sports, so they thought maybe they should try music. He started slowly – at first learning the bare minimum that I showed him. But over time, he’d come to each lesson with all the previous material learned and eagerly awaiting something new. One lesson, I invited the mother in to have the son play one of the pieces that he had learned. He concluded the piece and looked up with great pride knowing he had played well. His mother maintained the same harsh look that she displayed during that previous explanation as to her sons failings. The following week, the boy did not show up for his lesson. My calls to their home were not returned. My take on this? It was the mother who stood in the way of the child succeeding in all that he did. She had no intention of having a son who actually was able to accomplish something beyond what she had probably accomplished as a child.

We’ve all seen those parents who stand along the sideline yelling at their child to perform beyond his or her capabilities in a sporting event – parents who live through their children in hopes of attaining some worldly glory that eluded them in their own childhood. Sadly, there are also those parents who purposely lower their expectations for their children so as to not have to face their own shortcomings. In both cases, it is the child who loses.

Just as a child needs support to develop his or her talents, so do we as adults. We all have unique talents that can be more fully developed with the support of others. As a long-time music instructor, I have noticed a wonderful trend over the past ten years. As the children of baby boomers leave the family nest, many adults turn to music with their new-found time. Even retirees are turning music – some for the first time and many after an extended hiatus in which they raised their families. In either case, there are some commonalties to be found among those pursuing an interest in music later in life.

For starters, late bloomers must remember that learning an instrument has a physical side to it. It would be obvious that the mere size of a banjo would make it unlikely that a four-year old would comfortably be able to learn where to put his or her fingers. Likewise, an older individual learning to play an instrument may have physical limitations. This is obvious to the person who suffers from arthritis, but it may not be as obvious to persons who worked in professions that stifled the development of their fine motor skills. One retired student I worked with was a plumber. He had spent his entire life using his hands to clutch things (pliers, wrenches and pipes, etc.). Thus, what was needed in his early learning was a series of exercises to open up his hand – to help get the fingers working individually rather than as a unit. To many learners, this is frustrating since they wish to immediately hear tunes coming out of their instrument. Few would attempt a physical task such as running a 10K race without first conditioning for it. Likewise, we shouldn’t expect miraculous results when learning to play an instrument without a willingness to condition ourselves.

Just as children learn best with the encouragement and support of others, adults similarly need to develop a support system if they are to succeed in learning an instrument. Do not force this role on your significant other as he of she may be less than enamored with the sound of your instrument – especially if it is a banjo! The are numerous special interest groups, such as folk music societies and bluegrass music associations that provide information and workshops for those interested in a particular style of music. Many individuals who start an instrument later in life are frustrated that they can’t perform their songs at as fast a tempo as they would like. One remedy is to get together with other players at a similar level who will be willing to perform pieces at a speed accessible to everyone. With the advent of the Internet, there are now chat groups for those interested in just about any instrument or style of music imaginable. Talking through frustrations with others on a similar journey often leads to renewed enthusiasm for practice.

Another learning tip for the older learnier is to spend more time listening. Sure, you say you listen to music all the time. But you will need to listen in a different way. Focus on the one instrument you are choosing to learn. Do you hear in it the backgrounds of songs where you never heard it before? What is the instrument doing when it is not performing a solo? Even if you’ve chosen an instrument, such as the banjo, because you love the sound of it, chances are you have not been listening to hours of banjo music on a daily basis. Amazingly, certain types of music, such as banjo breakdowns or fiddle hoe-downs have been omitted from the musical strains found in most workplaces. In my own experience, I find that although my students claim to love the sound of the banjo, they have few, if any, banjo recordings. This situation should be remedied ASAP. Develop a collection of recordings performed on the instrument of your choice. Music instructors and others playing the same instrument usually can offer suggestions as to what CDs to purchase. Listening repeatedly to pieces you hope to one day play helps greatly when it comes time to learn those songs.

Equally important to developing a support system and effective listening is creating a learning environment. When asked to tackle a new task in the workplace, you were most likely in a surrounding built to ensure that you would succeed in learning it. You had appropriate resources, expert speakers were brought in and there were places to practice your new skills without fear of intrusion from the outside world. With our hectic lives, it is hard to create a music-friendly learning environment. The learner would do well to try and create a music learning "sanctuary" in the home – a place where one can fully concentrate on his or her playing and practice without interruptions from the phone, TV, radio, or VCR. The complete sanctuary would include inspirational photos or music memorabilia of favorite artists on the wall. The sanctuary is as much for the learner as it is for those who share the habitat. It should be set up in such a way that the volume of the instrument won’t disturb others. Electric instruments can usually be heard through headphones, if needed, while most acoustic instruments can be muted to some degree. Practicing at a volume that is mindful of others will ensure maintaining the peace with those who, to one degree or another, form your support group.

Pursuing a musical journey is much like following a spiritual path. When pursuing spirituality, such as when meditating, you try to cleanse yourself of negative energies to make more room for the flow of positive ones. Likewise, in music, you will need to rid yourself of what I refer to as blockage. Blockage, meaning that often when I play music I find myself thinking of many things besides the notes that I am playing. I may be thinking "My picks are too tight," or I may be thinking "I hope my broker got that sell order in on time." Musical meditation requires emptying your head of such extraneous thoughts so that only musical thoughts enter, such as the notes you would like to play and the notes that you hear being played. Musical spirituality is hearing your thoughts expressed through your instrument.

Ridding yourself of blockage will also necessitate facing up to any regrets you have penned up from your musical past. I had to deal with this in assessing why my parents never supported my career. I can only hope that the student I previously mentioned has found a way to forgive his mother and pursue the music that he so enjoyed.

One side effect of so many people either returning to, or starting, music late in life has been the boon in sales of fine hand-crafted musical instruments. Yes, you can learn guitar by borrowing one from a friend or getting one at a pawn shop for $100, but oftentimes the adult learner has the means to purchase a very expensive instrument – one so good that it may be the envy of the person’s humble music instructor. I personally believe that purchasing such instruments too early in a student’s learning is a mistake. Each time I stepped up to a higher quality instrument in my career it was to celebrate a musical milestone – to celebrate the feeling that I had earned the right to own such an instrument through my diligent practice and accomplishments. I suggest that learners treat the purchase of that special instrument as a reward for a special accomplishment. Most would be served better if instead of thinking "I’ll never learn to play ‘Foggy Mountain Breakdown’ unless I get a better banjo," they thought "I’m going to learn ‘Foggy Mountain Breakdown’ before I get that special banjo." Just as many are truly spiritual with little or no worldly riches, so too can musical spirituality be attained void of worldly materialism.

And lastly, it is helpful to realize that music is not a contact sport. Yes, there are competitions for various instruments. The annual Van Cliburn piano competition recently concluded in Fort Worth. I was fortunate enough to place 2nd in the Texas State Banjo Championships. But in the sport of music, I am not out to obliterate the competition by driving through the lane and performing a slam dunk. It is much more like the runner who stands at the line knowing he is not about to be the first across the finish line, but he WILL cross the finish line in a time faster than he has ever done so before. As in the Army, your are at your best musically when you are being all that you can be. As with all human spirituality, when each person strives to be his or her best and is at peace with him- or herself, the world is a better place. Savor each step you take. Each time a musical phrase sounds right, or single note resonates in all its beauty, think to yourself, "Hey, I think I’ve got it!"