|
|
|
|
Longing, Belonging This is an uncommon place. We come to find a place to belong, to meet friends, to talk about interesting things that have meaning for us. We are an uncommon people, seeking a church that is different from all the rest. Where we like to talk about religious ideas but we do not subscribe to a creed. Where we enjoy parables for all ages, from which we draw many layers of meaning. We experience both the freedom--and the responsibility--to explore our relationships with the universe along a spiritual path that may be unique but probably finds some company right here in this sanctuary. Many of you have come looking for community. Many of you came because someone invited you. Some of you found us on the web, that almost magical way of connecting people to whatever it is they seek. Information. Connection. Community. You find some connections here during coffee hour, in interest groups, committee meetings, social events, groups for women or men, and gardening, to name a few. Yes, you can find friendships here, and community. But what if . . . you wanted more? More friendship, more time together than is possible during coffee hour, more opportunity to share what is on your heart and mind as you make your way through this path we call life. What if . . . you are like so many of us who are struggling to juggle so many responsibilities that sometimes you wonder, “What about me? I don’t have time for a cup of tea, much less time to exercise or time to meditate. How will I ever feed my spirit when I give away my soul? Sound familiar? Believe me, you are not alone if that is more or less the story of your life. Some of you want more spirituality. Some of you yearn for more companionship. Ken Callahan puts it this way: “People come to a church longing for, yearning for, hoping for . . . [a] sense of roots, place, belonging, sharing, and caring. People come to a church in our time with a search for community, not a committee. . . . [People are looking] for home, for relationships. They are looking for the profound depths of community.” We need sanctuary—a place to belong where people know us more deeply than in coffee hour conversations. Callahan says that in addition to community we look for three other things as well: First, a sense of individuality—our worth, our value, the unique characteristics that we bring one by one as we enter. Second, we need a sense of meaning—we want to know that our lives matter, that we have something important to do, and that we have an opportunity for significant contributions to the group. Third is a quest for hope—that all of this is worthwhile and that we as a community can make a difference. As a spiritual community we long to deepen and sustain our spiritual foundations. Where else in this culture of busy-ness are we called upon to reflect on matters of the spirit? Though it is good for the ministers to model spiritual centeredness, it is also up to each of you to reflect on who you are, what you may become, and how you might serve. Each of us has the potential to become a spiritual activist. Zora Neale Hurston, who wrote wonderful stories and novels, wrote, “It seems to me that trying to live without friends is like milking a bear to get cream for your morning coffee. It is a whole lot of trouble, and then not worth much after you get it.” Living without friends feels like the loneliest thing in the world, like the miser discovered in today’s parable. Filling that emptiness with a longer list of obligations fails to address the deep hunger for a more spiritual life. We learn through experience that relationships lead us to consider what’s best for the community, instead of dwelling so much on our own wants and needs. Live Oak is not centered around Chuck and me as professional ministers. Each of us works half-time, we can’t be everywhere at once, and we can’t be all things to all people. That gives the rest of you an important responsibility to extend our ministry. I have seen a newsletter for a United Methodist Church in which the pastor’s name is listed and there’s a statement that the ministers include the entire membership. Our job as ministers is to empower you to share this responsibility, to help one another grow in spirit. Many of you have found a spiritual connection in small groups. Just the other night, 35 women gathered for a potluck and a description of existing circles of women. I noticed that there is such a group six days a week, with an assortment of meeting times and focus. I can think of at least three men’s groups. As we grow in membership, it is important to create additional ways for people to connect in meaningful small groups. In fact, Glenn Turner, one of the UU ministers in Maine, recommends that we have a small intimate group for every ten members. Why ten? Experience has shown that this is the optimal number to achieve the intimacy needed to meet people’s needs. If you go beyond that, there is less participation among the members, less of a relational group, and more burnout on the part of leaders. If we count just the adult members at Live Oak, we need 18 groups. We’re about halfway there. This is an attempt to add to the rich variety of groups, not to replace any. Nathan Ryan, Carrie Stewart and I are planning a simple organization of small groups who meet once a month with a facilitator to keep the process going. Within this simplicity is a profound way of making connections to our own spirits and connections to other people. Many of you recognize that I am talking about Covenant Groups, the kind of small group ministry that has transformed UU congregations since 1998. A covenant is an agreement made in good faith, a promise to maintain right relationship between two people or among a larger group. Each Covenant Group of 5-10 people, plus a trained leader, will develop a covenant to meet from one to four times a month to build relationships and to grow spiritually, plus a second covenant to provide a service to the church and the wider community. The covenant provides a framework for the group and consistency between groups. Covenant Groups prepare to welcome newcomers and plan to divide or replicate the group when it fills to abundance. The format from group to group is uniform, and this is one way Covenant Groups are different from the long-standing Men’s Lunch Group or the new Photography Interest Group. They are open groups, which may be symbolized by an empty chair set aside for the potential newcomer. As they approach ten or more members, they decide whether to divide or to spin off a new group with a new opportunity to extend the ministry of this congregation. In the Covenant Group model, the Implementation Team, starting with Nathan, Carrie, and me, will have training for potential facilitators on September 12. Selected facilitators will form Covenant Groups, and they will also participate in a Covenant Group for facilitators. The facilitator groups will focus on making all the Covenant Groups run smoothly and address any difficulties that come up. Covenant Groups may be organized around interests, but their primary objective is to know other group members on a personal level. The format includes an opening reading followed by a check-in. During the check-in, each person in the group might give a brief statement about how they’re feeling and what they have to leave behind in order to be fully present in the group. The brief check-in may be followed with a longer go-round when people say more about their primary concerns. Then they get to the “business” at hand—the common interest around which the group is organized. Ideas abound: for example, a Covenant Group whose focus is science and technology and their effect on our lives; another one especially for newcomers to Live Oak during their first six months or so; one for people interested in investing in the stock market (in College Station they call it The Dollar Lama Covenant Group!). You could have one for spiritual pilgrims; one for people who live in Sun City or Georgetown. The ideas keep rolling in. I heard about one Covenant Group that met at their church, had a reading and check-in, went off and vacuumed the whole church, then came back for their “check-out” and a closing reading. The focus for each group is up to the group along with its facilitator. There is an additional advantage to these groups. Have you ever noticed that you haven’t seen someone at church for a while? You may think nothing of it. After all, maybe he or she was here last week when you were out of town. Maybe you know that the person does a lot of traveling and that’s why you haven’t connected. You put it out of your mind until next Sunday or maybe next month. In a Covenant Group, members are encouraged to come to every meeting if at all possible. If they have to miss a meeting, they are asked to let someone know they’ll be gone so no one will worry. In a small group like this, everybody knows your name. They will miss you if you’re gone. They will want to know what’s up with you. And you will want to see them, too. If you’re going through a hard time, someone will call to let me or Chuck know. Right now, the Pastoral Care Team does a good job of that. But even the Pastoral Care Team members sometimes are not everywhere at once. Covenant Groups are completely voluntary and they will be open to both men and women. Carrie, Nathan and I, along with over a dozen of you, think they’re a pretty good idea whose time has come. Consider this story from England:[i] “There is an ordinary block of flats in a town in central Europe. The door to one of the apartments opens and a woman emerges. She is short, grey haired, and wears her better clothes. She closes the door carefully and begins a walk across the town. She walks alone. There is a word or two with a neighbour as she passes but she walks on, purposefully but unhurried. “In her mind, thoughts stream by, about herself, her family, what she has to do, whom she will meet, things she might say, some sadness, some good news. “The tram is not long in coming, and she rides for a few stops on a seat near the door. There is a brief thank you to the driver as she steps off. “She walks on. A few more streets to go. She turns at last into a narrow, unkempt side-road with a few buildings, shoddy, some empty buildings, scaffolding here and there, litter, rubble. She crosses toward an office block that looks derelict, unused, but the door is open and she steps inside. It is dark, uninviting, no signs of what might be there. “She bypasses the old elevator and begins to climb a wide, concrete, uncarpeted staircase. There is a handrail attached to bare, unpainted walls. At the turn in the staircase there is an unwashed window giving some light. She climbs, slowly, steadily, pausing now and then. One flight, turn the corner, a second flight, turn again, a third flight, turn again, up four flights of dreary stairs. “It was when she pushed herself up the last few steps that I saw her arrive. As she made it to the top, she stopped, breathed heavily and a smile of achievement flashed onto her face. She’d done it! She walked toward a small door and entered. “Where is she? This is her church. Two small, poorly lit rooms rented at lowest cost by her little congregation; unprepossessing, yet [theirs to use]. A few rows of chairs, a table, a lectern and a chalice candle. Some pictures on the wall of liberal religious heroes, Schweitzer, Tagore, Radhakrishnan… some hymn books. “Why has she come? This is her church. She belongs here. It matters to her. “I have a friend here,” she said. “This is her church. Some impulse to be in a sacred space, be it just for a little while, drives her. Some inward energy, to which she must respond, makes her focus her heart and mind on where she wants to be; her church, her place, her friends. To sing, to think, to listen, perhaps to pray, just to be here, where she can be herself, a place that makes a difference. “What her family, friends or acquaintances think, I shall never know. What I saw was an impulse that was unstoppable. This is her church.” Why does the woman go to so much trouble? “I have a friend here.” I look at you . . . and you . . . and you . . . and you . . . and I am in awe of the stories I have learned from you and the amazing depth of you that I do not know. Back when I was in seminary, all first year students were assigned to a Spiritual Formation group, facilitated by a professor. We met every week to pray together and to share our concerns. It was a kind of covenant group. During my final year at seminary I took a class on Women and Spirituality. For each week’s seminar, one or two of us would prepare a half hour worship service with which to begin the class. These were sacred moments, in the midst of an ordinary classroom. We transformed the space with fabric, sacred objects, music, and word. We had nearly perfect attendance among the dozen of us. No one even came late. It was a kind of covenant group. Our first assignment in that class was to set goals for ourselves. This is my quest, updated from 1992:
-to
accept my limitations It has been a great model for ministry—that no matter how busy my life becomes, it is important just to be myself in a group of people who know me as an ordinary, and yet a unique individual. My prayer is that for at least some of you, Covenant Groups will become a similar blessing in your lives. Let this remain "an uncommon place." Amen Blessed Be Shalom
[i] John Midgley, a Unitarian minister in England, “Impulse Unstoppable,” Green and Dying: Reflections on growth and change gathered by Celia Midgley (The Unitarian General Assembly Worship Committee, 1999), pp 47-48. http://www.unitarian.org.uk/books.htm |
|
Copyright
©2006, Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Church.