2000 Letters from the President
by Jennifer Swan
December 2001
Not
surprisingly, I've been thinking and reading about conflict and consensus
recently. I see our
conflicts not as a problem, but as a sign of our growth and health and
vitality. Conflict is often viewed as a problem, something to avoid or
repress, but I think conflict is necessary and even desirable.
In a group like ours, where there are diverse views and a free flow of
ideas, disagreement is inevitable, and conflict can be a catalyst for mutual
understanding and for creative problem solving.
Conflict can motivate us to improve and if conflicts are resolved in a
nonviolent manner, respectfully and cooperatively, we all benefit and grow, as
a group as well as individuals.
In our competitive, win/lose society, it's not easy to create an
environment where we feel free to disagree without fear. But avoiding conflict
or disagreement deprives us of the opportunity to explore the feelings that
created the conflict. If we begin to place blame, then we create an atmosphere
where we hide our true feelings. Blaming
attacks one's personal dignity and power, and evokes guilt, defensiveness, and
alienation.
Working together, I am certain we can create an atmosphere in which we
can learn to voice and view objections and criticisms as concerns rather than
attacks. Creating this atmosphere will require not only tolerance from each of
us, but a willingness to experiment. If
we can agree on a foundation of clearly defined principles and values, then we
have a common starting point. Then,
I think we can truly have a successful consensus process.
Here are some basic values we might want to consider when thinking
about how we can improve the way we use the consensus process:
·
Trust:
Acknowledging and appreciating our differences, being open to new
ideas, and being willing to examine our own attitudes individually.
·
Respect:
Listening to each other without interrupting and taking seriously one
another's concerns, both emotional and logical.
·
Self-empowerment:
Accepting responsibility for making our own decisions rather than
delegating that power to others.
·
Cooperation:
Sharing responsibility for finding solutions to everyone's concerns,
not just our own.
·
Commitment to the
group:
Taking personal responsibility to behave with respect, goodwill, and
honesty; putting the group's needs ahead of individual desires.
·
Patience:
Willingness to take the time necessary to resolve concerns, especially
in difficult situations.
Thoughtfully,
Jennifer Swan
July 2000
I am so thankful for the Live Oak community!
When I first moved to Cedar Park almost five years ago I struggled to find
a circle of supportive friends to replace the ones I'd left in Ohio. More than
a year later (it seemed more like ten years later) my father, who is a retired
Presbyterian minister, suggested that I look into this unusual church that
some friends of his belonged to. He knew how unhappy and lonely I was, and he
thought a UU church might appeal to me.
So I looked up the UU home page on the
Internet, and he was right, it did appeal to me. More than that, there was
a church almost in my neighborhood! It seemed like a miracle to me when I
found a warm and welcoming congregation just five minutes from my home. As I
became drawn into the life of the church, my children also discovered it to be
a place where they feel comfortable and accepted. And my husband basks in the
joy my sons and I have found at Live Oak.
I look forward to my term as President of the Live Oak congregation. Thank
you for this opportunity to give back to the church.
Gratefully,
Jennifer Swan
Copyright
©2006, Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Church.