Living with Soul 1998
December 1998
"To us a child is born; to us a child is given." You have heard these words
before in December, and you will surely hear them again. Regardless of what you think of
the Jesus story, this imagery is nourishing to sit with for awhile.
A child can change the demeanor of even the most callused person. Did you notice how
much the energy shifted in the sanctuary when our kindergarten and first grade kids
presented their banner to the congregation a few weeks ago? This season brings the spirit
of the child to us; hope, possibilities, angels, wise ones, newness. Our loftiest ideals
and our tenderest mercies are quickened in the miracle of a baby.
Parenting a young one is not only about warm fuzzies. There is an all consuming
responsibility and rigor that comes with this swaddling babe. Love compels us to set
limits, practice discipline, and let go of etched in stone notions. These verities of the
child are also constellated during this interval of our year.
My genuine petition for you, yours, and this community is that the child
in all its glory and grit will be birthed in us each. May our mangers be enlivened by
ecstasy, mystery, promise, as well as contemplation, intention, and resolve.
Indeed, to us a child is born; to us a child is given.
Soulfully,
Chuck Freeman
November 1998
"The water was up to my shoulders." This is what Barb Kemper - Nolan reported
to me last night. Perhaps this is old news toyou by now, but the Kemper - Nolan's home in
New Braunfels was flooded by nature's deluge last weekend. As we continued our
conversation, Barb told me how her daughter Jenna's thoughts and emotions were locked onto
the magnitude of their losses. " I want to teach you one part of dealing with
tragedy," Mom instructed child. "When a bad thing happens to me, I try to think
of what I am thankful for. Can you tell me something you are thankful for?"
The annual day of "Thanksgiving" is already pre- marked on my daytimer; the
one time we have cultural sanction to give thanks. Silly isn't it. One day, prearranged,
to be thankful. It is so easy to feel hedged in by our weekly lists of "have to's,
got to's, and honey do's." I'm in one of those hazy funks right now. It ain't no fun.
I know I can focus otherwise. Our thankfulness quotient drys and swells like the beds of
our rivers. Often it takes the calamities of living to clear the mud from our hearts.
Sacred traditions without fail instruct us, "in all things give thanks." This is
not a trite covering to hide the pain of loss. It is an affirmation that gives us the
fortitude to take in hurt and change.
Today I am thankful the Kemper - Nolan's are safe. I am grateful for those who showed
up with shovels and phone calls to offer comfort. I'm glad their dog has shown up tired,
but alive. I am thankful for my breath, fingers, apartment, music, friends, ministry, and
for you.
Tell me something you are thankful for.
Soulfully,
Chuck Freeman
October 1998
"What stands out here is the originality, the ingenuity... the
thinking outside of the box. I am fascinated by it." These words were voiced by Denny
Davidoff, Moderator of our Unitarian Universalist Association in her recent visit to Live
Oak.
The time is always right to keep the flow of inventiveness stirred. At our Strategic
Planning retreat on August 29, we proposed to recommend to the Steering Committee that our
church build a new facility on the land that has been donated to us. If you are new to our
community, the Steering Committee is not a select group of people. It is you. When you
show up on the second Saturday night of each month your presence makes up this
"Committee." We conduct our church on the consensus model, striving to grant all
an equal voice. Guesstimates presented at the retreat posited that we need in the vicinity
of 50 more members to make a decent run financially at a new building. This is
approximately 50 more warm bodies than our sanctuary holds. The most viable alternative we
are considering is moving toward two services within the next year. You may be in
possession of a more ingenious idea, or know of sane approaches for the two service theme.
We are beginning the gestation period of growing beyond a one cell church. It will be a
time of passion, fear, and hope. Midwives needed. Apply within.
September 1998
How does our Live Oak grow? This will be the question posed at our long term planning
retreat at the Kemper- Nolans' on August 29. (See Roger Sessions' related article in the
Newsletter.) Several factors are converging, making the timing of this meeting of the
minds fitting. We dedicated fourteen new members in August, bringing our holy mob to
ninety-seven. There is something about cozying up to the century mark that shifts the
mental landscape. We have seventy six children and counting in our fall R.E. program. Even
though we are in the act of doubling the space for our youth, growing pains need
massaging. Our sanctuary crests at one hundred ten or thereabouts. However, we have an all
but dotted line offer of donated land for a new church site! At what number would you like
Live Oak to level off? Should we pick a goal, and then spin off another congregation; or
propagate until we make the Crystal Cathedral look like a branch office? Describe your
vision of the character, flair, and magnitude of a new building. What expectations, and
assimilation process will be incumbent upon us as we add more congregants? Name the
spiritual and social justice ministries you envision for Live Oak. What time, aptitude,
financial, and staff commitments will this call for? A trustworthy proverb states;
"Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there
is safety." If you will be my safety, I will be yours.
August 1998
I am taking off my Minister's hat. What I'm getting ready to say is not a cheesy
preacher ploy. If you aren't involved in the Live Oak church beyond attending services,
you are swindling yourself. Since I was knee high to an armadillo, I have been intimately
engaged in church work. My Dad served missionary congregations. I preached my first sermon
at age eleven. Getting out the monthly bulletin was a family project. My five sisters and
I would form an assembly line, "a setup" as we termed it, and get the mailing
prepared. The church even met in our home for many years in my teenage days. I have
ministered on a couple of church, and chaplaincy staffs.
When I began with Live Oak two and one half years ago, the only thing I dreaded more
than a church committee meeting was a hemorrhoidectomy!! How many of those boogers have I
squirmed through with petty bickering, and thin egos being the daily special? With
Jefferson, and Emerson as my witnesses, I will testify to you brazenly that I have never
sensed this spirit at one of our Steering Committee sessions. Tension? Yes. Disagreement?
Of course. Conflict? Sure. Commonplace? Nope. I genuinely "want to be in that
number" when we gather.
What launches our community into another dimension is that we see the bigger picture.
We don't get snagged in the minutiae. We want to cooperate. The more the merrier is not a
slogan, but a hearty desire. We see our principles as a way of being, rather than a hot
air contest.
As a new church years cycles back around I hope you will consider not only attending
our monthly committee nights, but stepping forward with your leadership. I know for
certain that we have opportunities to chair Worship, Membership, and our Pledge Drive.
Other groups need stout consensus builders added to the mix.
You will be asked to reinvest some time and energy. But, Live Oak is a rare community.
In all your life you have not had this much fun being responsible. For, you may never pass
this way again.
July 1998
About ten years ago I was dating a Baptist woman who was also a Chaplain. Both of us
were disgruntled with the doctrinal rigidity of our churches. We found a Congregational
Church that was very healing for both of us, and eventually she transferred her ordination
to this denomination. A bit disappointed along the way she commented to me one day,
"Chuck, these people don't know how to do community like the Baptists do." I had
been forming a similar observation myself. I have puzzled over this for some time.
With all their shortcomings conservative churches tend to be what I might call
"high touch/high control." I mean by this that they are very involved in each
others lives, but the price to be paid is in the form of etched in stone beliefs, which
produces judgementalism and control. For this reason I have avoided churches like Newt
Gingrich eludes sensitivity training.
It appears to me that Live Oak is taking the best of both styles, forming a "high
touch/low control" community. Recently, my aging car has made unexpected and lengthy
excursions to the car hospital. Roger Sessions, and [another member] have kindly wheeled
me around in a UU form of "Driving Mr. Daisy." George and Jenny have been
benevolent enough to lend me their truck for several days. I confess that I hesitated to
ask for help, still wary of paying the inflated cost of manipulation for the services
rendered. Families such as the Conleys, Mariners, Van Sicklers, and Brenners have been
benefactors of your care, ranging from food to a listening ear. It feels good to be in a
church that is "doing community" without the debilitating additives.
High Fives to Glenn McIntosh, for putting together a "spirapeutic" (that's a
cross between spiritual and therapeutic) Father's Day service. Grace as well to each of
your soul moving sharings, which made it a Kleenex Sunday. We also thank and bid farewell
to Glenn for his leadership of our worship committee. He will now translate his energy and
passion to reviving the Live Oak Coffeehouse. We welcome James Hamilton as our new worship
chief, and look forward to his thoughtful contributions. Finally, hats off to Tia Lawlor
for her election as the President of the Southwest District Youth/Adult Council.
Here's to high tech, high touch, high competence, high visibility........ low control.
June 1998
It is time to offer a salsa-enhanced "adios" to the President. No, Special
Persecutor Starr hasn't finally gotten his man. I'm speaking of our Live Oak point guard,
Roger Sessions. While I am in the Chief Executive ballpark, I want to give kudos to
another President in our tribe, Jon Durbin, outgoing President of the Southwest District
of the UUA.
Roger always closes with the benediction "From My Heart" at the end of his
monthly pieces in our newsletter. This is not a weary cliche, or top-down propaganda
slogan. Roger has truly embodied the heart of Live Oak in his tenure as our President. He
practices shared leadership. He focuses on the good of the whole. He respects the gifts of
each member. Yet, he is not fearful of demonstrating assertive leadership when the liner
needs a firm rudder. In my role as minister, Roger has always treated me as an esteemed
fellow leader in the church. I never felt like an employee or competitor (except when it
came to the race to get our newsletter articles in the hopper). By the way, his articles
were, without exception, thoughtful and stirring. I know this sounds perverse in church
circles; I actually looked forward to reading them. To our good fortune, Roger is not
leaving the community, he's merely changing hats.
So, Roger, from the roots to the tiniest branches of our Live Oak hearts: "Muchas
Gracias!"
Jon Durbin has served as the President of our district for the past three years. I am a
relative newcomer to the scene, so I bring a political ignorance to my observations. I
have witnessed a loving respect for Jon, even from those who have not agreed with his
initiatives along the way. The standing that Live Oak enjoys in the District, and even
across the country is due in large part to Jon. He has been a champion for the small
congregation. In my recent jaunts to Victoria and Temple to preach, the folks beamed as
they introduced me; "Chuck is from Jon Durbin's church." In all my dealings with
Jon, his ambition is directed singularly toward what is good for the UU cause. Ego trips
weren't on the map. We are graced to count him among our number. Give the prophet honor in
his own country next time you see him.
Roger and Jon fit well these words from the Tao Te Ching; "When the Master
governs, the people are hardly aware that he exists...When his work is done, the people
say, Amazing: we did it, all by ourselves!"
March 1998
During my adolescent years I constantly pestered my mom with two questions. One of them
I regret almost daily, the other has become immaterial. When will I get to start shaving?
Do you think I will grow to be six feet tall?
Twenty years and some change later, these yearnings sport a different hue. I dread
scraping a blade across my face ( yes, I've tried electric). Fact the business, any day I
have to shave I consider a work day. And, I have come to be content with my 5' 10"
frame ( well, 5' 9 1/2" to be literal). I dunked an undersized basketball one time on
a bent rim. That was an adequate enough rite of passage into manhood to give me
credentials to go on.
Our church community faces similar growing pains and cultural ideals of "what it
means to be a grown-up church." Is it about numbers? Do we define ourselves by bigger
buildings and more blacktop? What about average pledge unit? (Now there's a warming
phrase.) Is the intimacy and character of the congregation the most prized goal? The bulk
of our February Steering Committee was dedicated to these considerations. The surpassing
gift of Live Oak is its character. We embody a gracious and rare capacity to appreciate
each other's way of making sense of Life, seeing the common values underneath the imagery.
Our world will be a lesser place if we keep this to ourselves. There is not a cell in my
being that doubts we grow in size, wisdom, and character.
This month marks the two-year anniversary of Chuck Freeman and Live Oak UU Church
"keepin' company." For me it has been like walking my girlfriend to class,
beaming with pride to carry her books; worried not one whit about my growth of beard, or
stature. Our report cards are signed, and we are graduating to the next grade. See you in
homeroom!
Soulfully,
Chuck Freeman
February 1998
I sat on the front pew of my dad's church on a crisp night during the Christmas
holidays. Two of my sister's kids wanted to be baptized. The entire family gathered. I
cringed, wondering why they couldn't wait until they got back to Texas to accomplish this
ritual. I knew the answers to that one. I purposed to appreciate the event for what it
was, and "rejoice with those who rejoice." Then came the familiar call:
"Chuck, lead us in some songs." It had been eons since I had led some of those
old standards: "My Hope Is Built On Nothing Less", "Nothing But The Blood
Of Jesus", "Amazing Grace." Thoughts and emotions spanning the spectrum of
my pilgrimage arrested my body with an electric charge. As I sorted and filed this
experience, one clarity (among many) came to rest in my being. I miss singing these old
tunes. They are as much a part of me as the heart that has pulsed my chest for 42 years.
I'll wager this is a common malady among those of us who have migrated to the UU church
from foreign religions. Is there a song, a scripture, or a reading that you feel a
homesickness for? Are these forever lost for you?
Notice that I said I missed the tunes, not the words. The rhythm and cadence of the
23rd Psalm, or the Lord's Prayer are utter magic. I'm planning a service in the spring to
"resurrect" the buried treasures from our spiritual tombs. Even those among us
who are UU lifers may have something that has been left for dead from your history.
So.......Inform me of your lost riches. Work with me to refurbish these antiquated
relics.
It's winter now, but Springtime is coming.
January 1998
Speaking as a "preacher's wife" and with a mother's instinct, twenty years
ago my mom sought to dissuade me from becoming a minister. "They will eat you up,
Son; you're too independent of a thinker." She was right. (Admit it, moms! You are
loving this confession of a contrite son.) Intoxicated with the gospel of idealism I was
going to change the Church of Christ. After seven years of nursing ulcers, the literal
truth of my mother's forecast set me on a different course. With jubilation (and not the
least bit animosity), I am privileged to announce that Mom was wrong! Neither of us, not
in our most bizarre fantasies, could have foreseen Live Oak Church. Thanks for granting me
the gift of being able to live my name - Freeman. I have limped through the years of being
a wounded "lone wolf" minister. I now feel healed, and humanized in this
community that cheers my independent nature. I am gaining, as well, a deep appreciation
for the tradition of Unitarian Universalism. I catch myself actually feeling pride in the
history of which I am becoming a part. I even have moments where I envision meeting the
Ministerial Fellowship Committee in one year as an affirming opportunity rather than a
dreaded requirement.
Moving forward now with a wiser idealism, I envision myself as a centered advocate and
crusader for the bedrock principles the founders of our religion and nation have set
before us. This is the time to rekindle the light of pluralism. In this new year, 1998, it
will be nice to fan these flames with you.
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